Modesty

There has been a lot of discussion on modesty lately. So I'm going to chip in my thoughts.
Let's start with a bold statement. That's a good way to start an article.
There is nothing inherently wrong with complete nakedness. Hence there is nothing inherently wrong with walking down the street completely naked even when everyone else is fully clothed.
^^^Those statements will be explained throughout the article.
Modesty is a word that, in terms of clothing length, wasn't even a real thing until recently. The way modesty has been defined for most of the history of the world is a word that is very similar to the words humble and meek. It was more about why you were wearing what you were wearing than what exactly you were wearing. I can't imagine that when the the men of old dressed in sackcloth, shaved their heads, and sprinkled ashes on their heads they were modest by whatever clothing modesty standards we have today. It was probably something like this, which if you are going by knee length apparel with sleeves on the top is not modest. Also, he was probably not wearing underwear under that. Just to point that out.

Also, if it is a sin to have clothing that doesn't go to your knees and cover your top, how could Adam and Eve do so in the Garden of Eden when they were there and not be thrown out?
Because of what I said before. It is not inherently wrong to be completely naked, or dress however you will. You should not feel ashamed of your body. Ever.
So if this is true, why do we even wear clothing at all?
God told us that our body is like a temple. We clothe our bodies not so much to cover our nakedness, but to show respect for the gift that God gave us. Our bodies really are a gift. Your body is a gift directly from God to you. Remember that. Take care of it.
So why the big fuss about modesty?
There are two extremes on this issue. Both deal mostly with women, so that's what we'll argue, though keep in mind that all the same principles apply to men as well. One extreme that says that women can wear whatever they want and that they should be sexy and hot. The other says that the first is sinful and that women are responsible for the thoughts of men, so they must always dress very modestly so as to keep the men thinking cleanly.
What terrible ideas. Both of them.
Let's address the first one.
The first one objectifies women. It makes them sound like sexual objects. It makes them feel like sexual objects. Some of them find pleasure in that. None of them find happiness. If a young man hears that women should be sexy his entire growing up, it's no wonder that he will see them as objects used only for his own sexual gratification.
Let's now address the second one.
The second one objectifies women.
Yup. Pretty much. Young women, if anyone ever tells you that you are the reason the young men are having dirty thoughts, they are hypocrites and are objectifying you as sexual objects just as much as any person of the first opinion. Ignore those people's words. Treat them with love, but ignore their opinion on modesty. Why does this opinion make women sexual objects? Think about it. I think you'll find the answer all on your own. If not, ask me in the comments. I'll help you figure it out.

To summarize this article:
My friend, treat yourself with respect, okay? Okay.
Have a marvelous day. :)

Courage

I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It’s when you know you’re licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. -Atticus Finch. To Kill a Mockingbird

Courage is everything. Maya Angelou said:

Courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without courage you can't practice any other virtue consistently. You can practice any virtue erratically, but nothing consistently without courage.

I do not agree with Ms. Angelou completely. I would change the wording. But no matter how I would change it, the underlying principle is true. Courage determines virtue. Are you being as virtuous as you ought to be? Yes? Good. I admire you. I really do. You are a strong person. Thank you for being who you are.
It is a common misconception that the presence of fear indicates the absence of courage. Such is not the case. The people with the greatest courage do not live without fear. In fact, courage requires fear to exist. Without fear there is no courage. And everybody has fear. Fear gives man the choice to be courageous.
 The strongest and the best men ever to live dealt with fear. Even the best man dealt with fear.
Jesus Christ. Our Savior. Our Redeemer.
It would be a lie, I think, to say that Christ wasn't sometimes afraid. Afraid to be tortured. Afraid to be crucified. God didn't make Christ without fear. Because Christ had to be a man too. Just like you and I. He couldn't be more than we are and still understand us. He couldn't be more and still atone for our sins. The plan of salvation doesn't work that way. He was one of us. And yet, he overcame fear. He overcame death. He overcame sin. His life and his work was a conscious decision, not a destiny set in stone. Christ too had agency.
Fear is of the devil. It is a tactic, a trick. Something to make us see our reality as it could be and not really as it is. It's an illusion. The devil laughs when you are afraid. He knows that he is winning. Because you're not seeing the world properly. You're seeing it through a series of maybes. Not as it is.
There are many ways to deal with fear. But one in particular that works very well, I have found. Do what you are told to do by people all the time.
Live in the moment.
I'm serious. Live in the moment.
Fear does not exist in the present. You are not afraid of right now. What you are afraid of is the next second. Or hour. Or day. Or year. Again. Fear does not exist in the present. Fear is a thing of the future. Remember that.
So have courage, my friends! Right now in the moment you read this, you feel no fear about now. But you do fear tomorrow. That's fine. What are you going to do about it? A defensive approach to fear is the worst thing you can do. You have to attack! Fear is a coward! Fear is afraid of you. It will back down every time if you challenge it. Go jump off of the high dive. Call that girl. Talk to that guy. Repent. Mend that friendship. Forgive someone who hurt you. Trust somebody who hurt you.
Live unbound.
Live unbound from fear.
Live unbound from the devil.
Live unbound from your insecurities.
Live unbound.

It's going to hurt you. I promise. But courage comes when fear does. And usually fear comes with pain. But with pain often times comes joy.
Find your courage. Make your mark. Defeat fear.
Then be happy. Feel free. Feel peace once more.
It's worth all the pain. I promise.
Love,
Dallin

I Feel So Dark

I don't understand what I feel.
Whatever it is, it just feels dark. It feels almost numbing. It feels pointless. Hopeless. Lost.
Why? What did I do? I haven't done anything wrong. I've done the right things. Kept my responsibilities for the most part. Loved my neighbor. Been a kind friend. Followed Christ with faith.
The normal.
And still. I feel dark. I feel numb. Empty. Lost. Confused. Tired. Lonely.
I miss the light. I miss feeling good. And happy. And like life is worthwhile and people are basically good.
The light just doesn't seem to come.
Not to say I never feel it. I feel the light all the time. I feel loved. I feel happy. I feel accepted. But I don't feel content. Not like I used to. It used to be that I could be all alone and be completely happy and content with myself for days.
Now I hardly feel content for minutes. And then the darkness comes again. The ever pressing, relentless darkness that is so heavy that sometimes I don't feel like I can shrug it off.
I really don't understand. I wish I did. I wish I would hurry up and figure it out. Because it hurts. And I don't know how to make the darkness go away.
It's like a cloud on a sunny day. But this cloud doesn't go away for weeks. And it doesn't even rain. It just blocks the sun. It makes the world dreary. Lacking of color. Lacking of light. Because not even the stars can be seen but from the mountain tops above the clouds.
Do you feel dark too?
I hope not. It's sad. It makes life feel pointless.
What do you do to be rid of the darkness though? Do you have an answer for me? Do you understand what I'm trying to explain?
I dunno.
I just miss the light. You feel?

Why Don't You Listen to Me?

A lady and a man become acquainted. 
"Hello! :D "
"Hi. :) "
They spend time together.
Life happens.
Pretty soon we hear...
"I love you."
"I love you too."
Life goes on.
Many things happen.
Pretty soon "I love you" is no longer said, but instead we hear...
"Why don't you listen to me?"
"I am! You're the one that's not listening!"
More hurtful words.
Less mended pain.
More hurtful thoughts.
Less shared feelings.
More broken relationships.
Less caring people. 
Repeat Cycle

That cycle is happening right now. Somebody somewhere is feeling that anger. Hearing those words. Living that cycle.
To a certain extent most of us are.
While this post is geared toward family relations, specifically those between a husband and wife, it applies to many other relations as well.
And it makes me so sad.
So very, very sad.
Why can't we all just get along?
I don't know. I really don't. I wish I did.

I have an idea though. It has been my experience that fear is what motivates the "Listen to me" dialogue. Fear... But fear of what?
What would make someone so afraid as to fight with the person that they love more than anyone else in the world? Their friend. Their companion. Their mate. What type of fear is that strong?
I have come to the conclusion that fear of judgment is what makes someone so afraid.
People don't like to be judged by anybody. But when you feel judged by your soulmate, when you see that look of pity and shame or anger that resides in their eyes and are hurt by it, it hurts in a terrible way. An indescribable way. And it's hard to heal.
And I know. A 16 year old giving marriage advise to adults. What do I know about married life?
Just be patient. I am more wise than I appear to be. I am wrong sometimes, but I think I'm right on this one.
Being judged hurts. So if you want a person to listen to you, or if you want a person to trust you with what they have to say, quit judging them. Take what they have to say and give it your honest consideration. There should be no anger involved. No preconceived answers or assumptions. No bias. Only a sincere desire to love and care for the other person. Then is when a person will listen to you. Then is when a person will talk openly with you. That is when you will find peace in a relationship.
The real question is, are you ready to set your pride down for the person you love most?
Or is your pride more important?
Think about it.

Don't Kill Their Happiness

This is my brother Ben.

He is one of the happiest people I have ever known. He is always smiling. Always trying to uplift. Always making the world a better place.
Do you know what the sad thing is?
Doctors say that Ben will be dead by 21.
Ben, along with his twin sister Rebekah and my other sister Rachel have a rare genetic disease called Ataxia-Telangiectasia. Basically Ben, Bekah and Rachel are missing a protein in their brain called the ATM protein. Their bodies don't repair DNA correctly and their cerebellum is deteriorating rapidly.
This is a picture of Rebekah and Rachel.

These beautiful children. My siblings. My friends.
They are all supposed to be in wheelchairs by the time they are 10.
Not able to speak by 14.
Dead by 21.
And while we are breaking a lot of these molds and predictions with so many prayers and a lot of research, (Mostly done by my incredible Mother) their bodies are still deteriorating. More slowly than other A-T children, (My siblings are in the top 5% in the entire world as to how well they are doing) but still going downhill.
Think about that for a moment.
These children have lived their entire lives with this knowledge.
Yet... They are still so exceptional.
Ben, as mentioned before, is so happy. So very happy. He glows. And although we can't always understand what he's trying to say, we can see the way his eyes light up with a soul too big for his body.
And Rebekah, she is so sweet. What a tender and loving soul. When I walk into the house, most of the time the first thing I hear is Bekah running down the hall to give me a hug. She's always serving. Always trying to make life better for everyone around her.
And Rachel. She's just spunky. But in a cheerful sort of way. She's so happy.

I believe that God gave them the gift of joy and love to be able to deal with the lives they have been given. I don't know how else to explain it. I don't know if I could be the way they are in the situation they are in. I don't know if I'm strong enough for that.
Sometimes, it hurts. They try so hard to be like everyone else. I don't even know if they realize that they are different most of the time. But they are. The older boys, Spencer, Enoch, and I, we're Ben's idols. Anything we do he will do in a heartbeat. Spencer, Enoch, and I are all very good athletes.
But Ben... Chances are he never will be.
His great dreams and hopes all lie on the baseball field and in the football team.
But those are dreams that he probably will never accomplish.
He probably will never be an MLB player. He'll probably never step out onto Yankee Stadium and hit one over the fence. He is just not physically capable of that type of thing.
And one day, he's going to realize that.
And it breaks my heart.
Bekah, her greatest aspiration is to be a mother. It's her dream. But... She probably never will be.
She probably will never have her own children.
Never rock her baby to sleep.
Maybe never even marry.
And it breaks my heart.
Rachel is too young to really tell what her dreams are. But chances are...
If they're a pursuit that extends past mid-twenties, she will probably never attain them.
And again, it breaks my heart.
They don't have very long on this Earth without the revelation of a major miracle.
So why would we make their lives anything but wonderful?
Why not let Ben try baseball?
Why not let Rebekah play with dolls?
Why not let Rachel just be herself?
Why not treat them like they're a normal kid? Maybe give them some hope.
The doctors... They've never said anything to Ben, Bekah, and Rachel about hope.
They've only said to take these drugs and try to live another year.
And yet hope is what is keeping them alive. It's the reason they are in the top 5% in the world for how well they're doing. It's the reason that at the age of 10 Ben and Bekah still ride bikes instead of wheelchairs. It's what allows them to be happy.

When people like this cross your path in life, don't treat them differently than anybody else. Don't pretend like they're disabled, because they're not. I hate the word disabled. They have the ability to do just as great of things as you and I do.
Don't kill their joy.
Don't focus on the bad things. Instead lift them up. Tell them how wonderful they are. See the light that they contain. Give them your love. I believe that the thing that kills more people than anything else is a lack of hope, and a focus on the bad things that could happen. Nothing is certain. It is not certain that my siblings will be dead by 21. To be honest, I believe that they will live full and long lives. I really do. I believe that Bekah can one day be a mother. I believe that Ben can one day be a professional athlete. I believe that Rachel can fulfill all of her dreams.
I didn't say that it wouldn't take work. It will. For these things to happen, we basically have to change the genetic structure of their bodies. We have to heal them. But God never said to give up hope in any circumstance, so we shall hold fast to hope and keep the faith.
Maybe they'll live. Maybe they'll fulfill all of their dreams. Maybe they'll change the world.
Maybe they won't.
Regardless of whether they do or don't, I believe in them. And whether my belief is well grounded or not, one thing is certain.
In the end, all will be well.
All will be well.
And Ben, you go, Superman.