Believe

Dear Friend,

Today you believed in me. It was amazing. In one short sentence, you changed my entire perspective on myself. This year I'm running for student body president, and I've had a lot of tension and uncertainty about it. I've been afraid of it. I'm afraid of what will happen if I actually get elected. Can I actually take on that kind of responsibility? Can I actually lead the people I have looked up to for so long? Surely there is someone better for the job than me. I'm little Dallin Ward. I'm pretty good at what I do, but this president thing seems kind of new. I'm afraid. What if I'm a let down? What if I'm a flop - a flake? 

I just don't want to hurt anyone. Especially the people I look up to so much. My mentors and peers at WA.

I love them. They are my people. My family. I believe in them. I believe they are the future leaders of the world, the movers and shakers of society. I really believe they are made of exceptional stuff. 

My whole life I've had a habit of discrediting myself. Even to the point of excluding myself from groups that would lift me, but I don't believe I belong in. In some ways, I'm a super timid person. My tenancy, (A tenancy I've had to work really hard to achieve) is to push through through these feelings and get where I know I want to be anyway, even if it's super uncomfortable, so I do tend to get where I want to go, but it doesn't mean I always believe in my ability to do what I'm trying to do while I'm trying to do it. I do my best to quiet these thoughts gently and reassure myself of my ability, and generally I do a good job of that, but it doesn't mean the thoughts cease to speak entirely. 

Lately I've had some real doubts about the SBP elections. I've been unsure of how committed to my campaign my staff really is. If I'm going to win, I *need* a staff who really believes in what they're doing. A staff whose heart is in their work. Which means that my job as a leader is give them something to believe in. Which means that I have to find something to believe in myself. So my doubts about them really all fall back on me. What do I believe in? What is my driving factor?

Well, honestly I believe in you. I believe in WA because I believe it is a school of God. That's why I'm doing this. That's why I'm running for SBP. And I really need to believe in myself before I can really help anyone else. 

You gave me reason to believe. Your parting words yesterday were, "You're going to make a pretty fantastic president." 

Not the most inspiring thing ever said, but the words I heard in my soul are these,

"Keep going, Dallin. You're going to be great. I believe in you."

Now I do too. Thank you so much. Let's go get elected.

Love,

Dallin