A Friend... Almost

Have you ever looked at the people who surround you who are your friends? They are those people with whom you share a deep understanding, and a deep love. People whom you trust with everything.
And then there are those people who are... Almost friends. On the outside, sure, you're friends. Everybody you associate with sees you as friends. But on the inside, you're not. You're more like close acquaintances. And it might not even be because you don't like that person and they don't like you. That is a viable option though. No, it might be that you just haven't experienced enough of life together with that person to call them a friend. Or maybe you were friends and something happened, and now you hold disdain for them. Or maybe it's not disdain, but uncertainty. Maybe you're not sure where you stand with that person, and it's too awkward to associate with them on a personal level. Maybe you're just scared. Scared because you are, or were, so close to being inseparable friends that it hurt, but there was just something indescribable dragging the friendship to a halt.

Maybe this is just me.

Maybe I'm alone in this.

I certainly feel that way.

But... Maybe I'm not alone. Maybe you feel that same sense of guilt or shame or longing - maybe even all three at once - when you see that person's picture. Or read their social media posts and statuses. Or recall old conversations shared with that person.
I don't know what else to say. At this point I'm out of words. I just wish I could figure out how to fix this problem - and I have to fix it. Because Jesus said love everyone. And it's hard. It's hard when you have a friend that was only... Almost.