Deciding to be Proud

As I've said in the past, losing state hurt. Bad.
Ever since the day I lost state, every time someone has congratulated me on taking 2nd place, I have downplayed my achievements, and shrugged their compliments off. This is a common thing that people do when they don't want to face the truth. The fact that they did something great. The reason being is that it is easier to downplay and talk like it was nothing than to say, "Yeah, I did that. And I'm proud of it." Downplaying makes dealing with the pain and the criticism easier. It makes it seem like their goal was much lower than what it really was, therefore decreasing the value of the achievement and also decreasing the pain of failure by shutting out their emotions.
Even though this is easier, it's not better.
This is something that I'm just starting to learn. Instead of saying, "No. You're wrong. I didn't do great, I wrestled probably the worst match of my life" I should be saying, "Thank you." But saying a simple thank you is so much harder than I ever imagined. When I say thank you, I feel like I've betrayed all of my goals and my dreams that were lost on February 23 of this year at state. I feel like I'm saying that I am proud of the result, and that I did my best when I say thank you. And it doesn't feel right.
Today, I learned that this kind of thinking is wrong.
That thinking is correct in one area. I don't have to be proud of the result. But what I do have to be proud of is the accomplishments that I did attain. Like being the first freshman from Malad High School to make it into the state finals.
So, thank you to everyone who has congratulated me. I'm sorry that I brushed you off before.
From now on, I'm going to be proud of my accomplishments at state, and in life.

My failures can only fuel me for success now.
Because I have learned from them.
And I'm even better off than I was before.

Come at me, pain.
I'm ready for you.