Pain is not Sorrow

My entire youth to this point has been a win. 

I have always been on top, or very near to it in everything I do.

I have always looked at the losers or the people beneath me on the podium and thought, 

"That's so sad... Look at them. They've put everything into this. And they didn't win it. How depressing..."

When I lost my first state wrestling title, I could see clearly that God was teaching me what it feels like to lose. 

I learned that lesson.

So why would God have me lose another one? Why would he take the work of my entire life, my prayers, my blood, my sweat, my tears, my dreams... Why would he not let me win? Sure the other guy worked hard, but there is no way he worked harder than me. 

Why am I the one to lose again?

After all, two state finals matches is a lot to lose. Most people learn after one. 

But I did learn. 

So why me?

This was a question that crossed my mind quite a bit. And I hadn't given it much thought, because I don't like to blame my losses on God. But it was there.

I think that I needed to lose this year to learn a deeper principle than what it feels like to lose. I think I needed to learn that losing is not a sad thing. It may be hard. I may have wanted to go spend the rest of my life in a hole away from anybody. But I wasn't sad. I was never sad. I only hurt. And I've learned that there is a difference between the two. 

As much as losing the state title twice hurt, and still hurts, I wouldn't change it. 

I have received such a depth of character from those losses. The first one especially. 

They have only made my life better.

I am so thankful for them.

So remember. 

When life gets hard, when nothing seems to be going right, make sure to distinguish between pain and sorrow. Because if you're only hurting, but you put sorrow on yourself to add to the pain, your life is only going to be more miserable. 

No matter the pain, do not give in to the darkness. 

Hold fast to joy. 

Hold fast to light. 

Hold fast to God.