I am human.
Somehow you are too. And, because we're both human, we both are imperfect. We both are afraid of things and have doubts and trials. You are not as perfect as your facebook profile makes you look. I am not as perfect as mine. You aren't flawless like my mind tends to think of you as. See, I'm an optimist by a long shot. I just plain like to see and bring the best out of people, and that's what I tend to remember. I do not have a tenancy to remember bad things. Because of that, I tend to set a false expectation for myself. I don't hate you, and I'm not jealous that you seem to be perfect, I just want to be like you. So I try. Unfortunately I don't see the lows to your highs. I don't generally get depressed because I'm not living perfectly, because depression is not in my nature. What happens usually is I keep living just like I do, but I shy away from you a little bit, because you're perfect, and unapproachable. But you're not, and I know that. When I don't think about what I'm doing, I forget it. I give in to the fear that because you are living perfectly, I would be bothering you to reach out, so I stay still, because I don't want to bother you. But sometimes I need you, and because I am afraid I don't reach out.
The crazy thing is that other people view me in this exact same light from time to time.
Unapproachable. That's one of the things I like least is when people feel like I am unapproachable. It makes me feel like I intimidate people, which to a certain extent I might. I mean, I've got a pretty good reason to. I do a lot of things other people don't, and that scares them. I unashamedly smile and laugh and sing in public, I spoke in all the wards in my stake with a High Councilman when I was 12, I'm homeschooled, I'm intelligent, I'm articulate, I'm a very successful wrestler, I have excellent posture, (Which I have found to be just as, if not more effective to appear strong as any sort of stature can give a person) I go on lots of adventures, I don't hang out with my friends around town very often, I'm not afraid to talk about feelings, and I really, sincerely love all the people around me. It kinda creeps some people out. I'm just not normal. For so long this is what I have told myself, and in return for the isolation I have often felt from others, I have isolated myself.
Here's something closer to the truth.
I'm not normal. But normal is a relative term anyway. I don't have to be average to connect with the people around me. God made us with the ability to connect simply because we are human, requiring no other reason. I don't have to isolate myself from the world simply because I choose to live differently than most people do. I can still connect, I can still love, I can still serve.
Mostly, I can still be human.
Will you choose to be human too?
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