I have thought a lot about the pain I put upon my wrestling opponents when I defeat them.
What makes me any greater than them that I should be the one to win? They sweat and slave and work just like I do. Who am I to take all those hopes and dreams and kill them?
Another thought that has occurred to me is that maybe God wants my opponent to win to teach them something. Maybe teach them that hard work pays off. Maybe He's trying to teach me that I need to work harder.
Who am I to be greater?
These, and many similar thoughts, I have fought with for years.
Today I found the answer.
Thinking back on the last two state tournaments I realize that even though being a two time runner up is difficult, it is absolutely one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I have grown and developed so much, and in ways I probably wouldn't have had I won.
In our backwards, confused, glory seeking world people think you've gained the great prize when you win. The thing people miss oftentimes is the the beauty in taking a loss and running with it. With that in mind, there is a wrong way to lose. The wrong way to lose is to give up. The beauty in a loss comes with the perspective, motivation, and wisdom a person can gain from it if they choose to accept what they cannot change and move on.
So, all that said.
Who am I to deprive another person of the chance to improve and develop their character?
Who am I to give someone something they don't deserve?
Who am I to not put my full and entire being into the matches I wrestle?
The person God made me to be is not for those things.
He made me to be great. Incredible. He made me to beautifully lose and humbly win, and to give my entire being to the journey.
He made me to become as He is, and He is perfect.
I am not perfect. I am not free of sin. I make mistakes on the mat and off the mat. That's okay. I am improving.
I want to win state this year more than I've ever wanted anything in my life.
As I work for this title, may God guide me to a humble win or a beautiful loss, and may my opponents be guided as well.
Peace be unto them.
